I write every single day. I write narrative reports, evaluation reports, communication letters, letters for the immediate heads, letters for the bosses and the big bosses, reports to be submitted to whoever.
I feel like I write for a living now. I feel like half of my job is about writing. Writing is not even part of my job description. I guess what I am really trying to say is that I write all the time now!
But I miss writing. I miss writing for myself. I miss writing my thoughts. I miss writing my feelings. Why did I stop? I guess because life happens. I guess because I am living in the world of adults now and I have responsibilities on my shoulder. Is that a valid reason?
It’s just that I woke up every single day feeling not motivated with work, will walk going to work and going back home feeling a lot – anxiousness, sadness, excitement. And then there are days that I feel nothing- this scares me more to be honest because these are the days that the thought of quitting and leaving is stronger than wanting to plant more seeds.
And then there are days that I am just too mean, too critical, too doubtful on myself. So instead of writing, I would just keep it to myself because I would just be so critical on my work. This sucks. Wow writing this made me realize that I am such a lame friend to myself.
I read somewhere that to be a good writer, just write, write, write. It doesn’t have to an awesome piiece all the time. Just write! And, love yourself a little bit more.