I just realized why I find it hard to find a job for me.
Because I don’t know myself.
Aside from the fact that I’m not really a good English speaker, and I’m also not a good seller of myself, I don’t know myself.
I guess I do have the borderline personality.
During interviews, HR people ask what is your edge with the other applicants – in every different way of asking that bloody question. They would ask why you should be hired, what you can give and so on. Trust me when I say I’m getting tired with these questions.
I realized this thing when I’m filling up a form and one item there asks for my talent. What’s my talent? I have no idea. When I was younger, I would always say playing the keyboard and dancing. But I can barely read notes – I’m like a kindergarten who is just learning how to read words. And dancing? Sure I dance a lot at home and stuff, but I realized my dancing skill isn’t as awesome as I thought it was so I’m a bit shy saying that I dance.
I always say that I’m honest, committed, motivated and all those flowery-yet-most-of the time clichéd words. I don’t have this unique adjective to share during the interview. I guess I’m forgettable that during the deliberation, HRs don’t know me anymore, thus, no more final interviews for me.
Should I dress in meat like Lady GaGa or should I shave my head like Miley Cyrus? Maybe metaphorically, sure. But in real life? Of course, I won’t.
In this parallel universe, I’m a woman who has been going out of her comfort zone since she was a little. She’s sure of herself, and of what she wants to be – a writer, a good public speaker, a sweet person and an awesome professional.
So I gotta figure out things.
-Ren, January 21, 2012 around 11am